Worry.

Today was definitely tough.. and I brought it on myself! I don't know why I do this to myself. I guess it's my job to worry. I keep hearing about what is going on in Africa and the Middle East and it scares me to death. I called the FRO today just to make sure that all the rumors were false about the guys going over there.. And he said that as of now, they are coming home when they're expected to. But he did throw in, "you can never say never". I know this.. I knew this coming into this life that Tyler could ALWAYS go on another combat tour any day.. But I just didn't realize I would have to worry about it so soon. Why do I do this to myself.. It isn't even a possibility right now. Ugh.. My biggest fear in the entire world is losing him. And I think that's what it all comes down to. Don't get me wrong, I have so much faith in him no matter where he goes.. but I can't help but worry. It happens to people everyday. I would die if I lost him. Okay, I need to stop. I can't even think about it. I can't even let my mind go there.. The fact that my mind is even going there when he's on a MEU just baffles me. What the hell is wrong with me.. I thought I was stronger than this. I thought I was going to be okay through all of this.. I thought wrong. I just want him home.. When he's here, I know he's safe.

I need to suck it up. This is pathetic.

Vent=over.