Amazing day!

I cannot believe a year ago today, I married my best friend. It feels like it went by so fast! I think that has a lot to do with us not seeing each other a lot. Out of the entire year, Tyler was gone for four months, give or take a couple weeks. Even though we haven't spent as much time together as I would like, I wouldn't want our lives any other way. I am proud to wait for him, I'm happy to wait for him because I know when that man comes home again, we'll be together and that's all that matters to me. Our love is too strong to be destroyed by distance. Nothing can or ever will come between us. I can't wait for the years and years to come.. And for what God has in store for us. I can't wait to have children one day with him. Tyler is going to be such an amazing father :) It's so hard to wait but, I think we definitely need to spend more time together just being "us". I'm so excited to spend the rest of my life with him.. He is such an amazing husband and the biggest blessing of my life :) I love you baby, Happy One Year! :)

Our wedding was so beautiful.. I can't thank our family enough for dropping everything and helping us get this wedding together in such a short amount of time. Everything came together so perfectly from the flowers, to the dresses, the decorations, the food, the venue, everything came together SO perfectly. I wouldn't change a thing about our wedding.. It was the best day of my life :) I can still hear the clicking of the cameras and sniffles in the crowd.. I remember the moment my dad gave me away to Tyler and the pride he had in his voice. I remember the look on Tyler's face when he saw me for the first time in my wedding gown before the ceremony.. I swear, he told me how beautiful I was probably a thousand times. And boy, did he look handsome. :) I can see Tyler's head sweating, trying to fight back the tears when we were saying our vows.. I can still feel my heart beating a million miles and hour. I remember thanking God over and over again in my head for this beautiful day.. I remember and feel everything. I feel the exact same about that man as I did when I married him.. I love him even more, actually. I didn't even know it was possible to love somebody this much.. His love is such a blessing.

I'm so thankful to have married into such a wonderful family.. I absolutely adore my in laws. I feel so grateful to have such a close relationship with my mother in law :) There are so many people that don't have that with their in laws, and I feel sorry for the issues they may have to go through. Tyler's family is hilarious.. I love their silly sense of humor and how laid back everyone is. I feel like I was meant to be in their family, and that is so important to me. I feel the same for Tyler. I feel as though he was meant to be apart of my family as well. And they love him to pieces :)

Our one year anniversary was a little bitter sweet. Bitter because of course, we couldn't spend it together, and very sweet because well.. It's our anniversary! :) I was so happy that I got to Skype with him this morning. That was amazing. <3

Something crazy happened today.. And I can't wait to tell Tyler about it :)
Today I had to pick up a prescription from Rite Aid and as I was standing in line, I noticed it was taking a little while.. I peaked over and saw a little old lady picking up her meds along with buying certain products that elderly people need :) She was taking her time because she had a cane, and a cart to take care of. I noticed some of the people were getting pretty impatient.. When she turned around to leave, she apologized to everyone. I couldn't stand knowing that she had to walk all that way back to the car by herself so I offered to help her unload her stuff. She gladly accepted and we slowly walked to the car.. On the way, we talked about her sciatic nerve, her husband, my husband, she gave me wonderful information about a nearby Church that her and her husband attend which I am so thankful for, we talked about where we're from, how much we love California and how much she loves Marines. She volunteers for the program that throws baby showers for women who are pregnant with deployed husbands! How sweet, right? And just when I thought she couldn't get any sweeter, she handed me a $100 bill. I gave it back to her and said "no, thank you so much but there is no way I'm going to accept that from you. I'm going to return your cart, thank you so much for sharing your stories with me, it was so nice to meet you!" But she looked me in the eyes and says, "Alli, I want you and your husband to do something nice for your anniversary. You are a very strong woman for going through all of this, and you two deserve to do something nice when he comes home, please take it." I hugged her and started bawling my eyes out, of course. I did not want to take this money from her, but he continued to push me to take it. I can't believe it. A complete stranger. She gave me more than a gift of 100$, she gave me the gift of finding a church for Tyler and I to attend, and gave me a lot of advice and love. I will be praying for her and her husband tonight, and praying that God will put someone in my path tomorrow that needs a helping hand.

AMAZING DAY! Thank you, Jesus.

My very good friend Amanda Dooley has been battling the deadly disease, Cystic Fibrosis her entire life. She has been in and out of the hospital more than any of us could even imagine, and she has flirted with death one too many times. No matter what struggle her disease puts her through, she always has a smile on her face and stays so incredibly positive. She is the strongest person I know, and I am so proud of her.

 

In case you didn't know, Cystic Fibrosis is a disease that is passed down through family members. It attacks the lungs and digestive system. Making it extremely hard to breathe, live a "normal" life. And what I mean by that is, it makes it difficult to do what we all take for granted. Walking with ease, running with ease, swimming with ease, going shopping, being in public without having to worry about the smoker next to us, common colds sending us to the hospital, BREATHING, etc. It makes eating a struggle because people with CF don't produce the enzymes that you and I do to help us digest food. Cystic Fibrosis has no cure as of right now but, with the help of fundraisers, awareness, and prayers, I believe we can find a cure. As for now, to make their lives a little easier.. Patients use treatments such as antibiotics, defibrillators, and more. There is also the option of getting a transplant.. Right now, Amanda is trying to decide whether to start the process of getting on the list or not. So please, send your prayers and your positive thoughts to both Amanda and her family. She needs it now more than ever. I've seen this girl get through a lot in her life and I know in my heart that she can get through this. She's the toughest person I've ever met and I know that no matter what she decides, it's the right decision.

 

If you would like to learn more about CF and what you can do to help, please visit: http://www.cff.org

 

And please follow Amanda's blog! The more people that are aware of this disease, the more help they can get. http://realheroesbecomeangels.blogspot.com/

 

Deployment, thoughts, anxiety, updates.

I can't believe time is going by so fast. It's already half way through October, when did that happen? It's scary how fast this deployment is going by but, even though it's going by really fast, homecoming can't get here soon enough! I'm so ready to have my husband home. Even though I'm extremely spoiled and have had the privilege to talk to him frequently and know he is not in danger, it's been long enough. I'm very excited to have him around again, to make new memories together, to be able to kiss him whenever I want, to know he's only going as far as Horno, and to just know he's here.. I'm so excited for him to meet Raider, and for us to just be together again. I miss my best friend. I miss everything about him. Even though he's a world away, I still fall more in love with that man every single day. I feel so lucky and blessed to have him in my life. People compliment me on my strength but, honestly.. I don't choose to be strong. I have no choice. I HAVE to be strong. This life may be very hard at times but it's exactly what I signed up for. Being with Tyler for a few months out of the year is better than not being with him at all. Words cannot describe the pride I have. I am so proud of him for everything he does, even though he doesn't see himself as a hero. Sometimes, I wish just for a second he'd pat himself on the back for all of the great things he's done, for all the sacrifices he's made, and for all of his selfless acts. He deserves the world and I wish I could give it to him.. I hope my love is enough ;)

As most people know, I suffer with anxiety. I was hospitalized a few months ago for an anxiety attack and it was probably the scariest thing I've experienced alone. When Tyler was in Korea,  I was just sitting on the couch watching Jar Head (probably not the best idea). Before this night, I had been experiencing a lot of chest pain.. The only way I can describe this feeling is.. that it feels like someone is standing on your chest. It feels like your throat is closing in and it's hard to breathe. Anyways, I was watching Jar Head and all of the sudden my legs and arms went totally numb, I started shaking, I couldn't swallow (probably the scariest part). I didn't know what was going on. I felt like I was going to pass out so I sat on the floor just in case I did. It felt like nothing was real.. I was so scared so I called 911. My heart was POUNDING. I told the lady that I didn't know what was going on but that I didn't feel like myself and I was scared. In a few minutes, the fire fighters and paramedics came in and put me on a heart monitor and checked all of my vitals and what not. I don't remember much after that.. Just them putting me in an ambulance and taking me to the hospital to get my heart checked out and to make sure it doesn't get worse. I had a few more attacks in the hospital but, I finally calmed down. I felt like such an idiot.. Here there were people SERIOUSLY sick or injured next to me and I'm having a panic attack over here for God knows what reason. My good friend Val picked me up and I stayed at her house that night.. Thank goodness for her. I was put on some anti-anxiety meds after that situation and I was getting a lot better. A few months passed and here I am, off my meds because I'm stubborn as Hell and don't want to be on them, having chest pain. AGAIN. I'm so sick of this. It's RIDICULOUS. I know people suffer from anxiety but, I felt like such a baby. My husband wasn't in danger.. what did I have to worry about? I don't know why I suffer from such bad anxiety but, I'm going to find out. I finally.. FINALLY made an appointment to see a counselor. I've decided to stop being so stubborn and act like I'm fine. I'm not, obviously. I'm lonely, I'm anxious, and I need to fix myself. For once I'm going to seek help to fix ME. Not the situations around me, not the people in my life, me. I need to focus on myself and get some help before I cause damage to my heart or something. Honestly, if anyone is experiencing chest pain, panic, anxiety please get some help. It's not fun.. and I don't want anyone to end up freaking out on the floor like I was. Granted, I'm still getting used to this whole "being alone half of the time" thing but, seriously.. get help.

Like I said before, I signed up for this. I'm not saying that in a negative way, I'm just saying.. I knew what I was getting myself into and I don't regret it at all. The only thing I regret is not seeing a counselor right away to learn how to deal with anxiety. Because hyperventilating isn't helping anymore.

I love my husband more than anything in the world and this is a very tough life at times.. But I know I can do it. For once, I have faith in myself. I'm better than this, and I'm way stronger than this. I know I can fight my anxiety and learn how to deal better. I just need some helpful tips.

I can't wait for this deployment to be over!!!!!!!!!!!