Days like today.

Days like today, I just want to crawl into my bed and never come out. I'm so sick of the selfish people that live around me. I think the biggest thing that set me off was two guys in a fancy dancy convertible with the top down of course, making fun of the truck in front of them covered in Marine Corps stickers, and a sticker that said, "If you love your freedom do your part, thank an American Veteran." What runs through these people's minds? I just want to know what happened to them that made them so arrogant so I can tell them to get over themselves. Days like today, I just want to punch a hole in my wall. I can't stand how disrespectful people are. Not everyone down here is rude, but let's just say I can't smile at someone or say hi without getting glared at or even flipped off. God forbid you ever turn your blinker on either..

Days like today, I just want my family. I want my husband. I want to be surrounded by people that love me as selfish as that sounds. I know Tyler's probably feeling the same way times a million.. But I can't stand it. I just want to be with him. I want to be around him. I feel like he's just gone..

Days like today, I want to go up to each and every person that has, is, or will be serving for this country and just say, "Thank you." Days like today, I just want to leave. I want to go back to the place that is full of GENUINE people. Kind hearted, sweet, respectful people. People that don't have to wear heels to the grocery store, people that can enjoy camping without electricity.. People that know their neighbors and care about them. That's the place I want to raise my family. If I can't, I will make the best of what I have. I have a lot, I am truly blessed and I couldn't be more thankful to live in such a BEAUTIFUL place but.. The negative people that live in it really get on my nerves. I wouldn't trade my life for the world. I am so happy down here, and I'm so happy to be Tyler's wife. I'm so happy that I'm the woman waiting for him. He's the best thing that ever happened to me and I love him more than anything..

Ahh.. I feel better now. Sometimes I just need to get it off my chest. I keep my mouth shut all the time about this issue.. And it feels good to let it out.

Time to do nothing.. in my adorable apartment.




Please excuse any typing or spelling errors. I was furious ;)

Almost home.

He's almost home.. I feel like I've been waiting years to see his face again but it's only been a couple of months. The first couple of weeks were really tough.. It felt like time had stopped. I think once the deployment has been going on for a few weeks, you finally start to get used to being on your own again. You start getting used to going to sleep alone, and getting used to the cold bed again. It hurts, but you have to get used to it or you'll drive yourself crazy. The middle seems to fly by, and the end seems to always take the longest- naturally. The middle was great for me! Once Alexa and I started hanging out (non stop) the days flew by. I can't believe March is almost over, the month I was dreading the most is almost over. Support is so important during a deployment, so is staying busy. My job keeps me busy half the week, and Alexa and Adrianna keep me busy the other half. I love it! I love them both, dearly. They're almost home.. Alexa and I have our outfits ready, our signs made, and are now just waiting for that email. I cannot wait to find out the day he comes home.. I can't wait for the sleepless night before, I can't wait to get ready to pick him up, hop in the car, and go get him. I can't wait to spot him in the crowd and feel the world stop around me. I can't wait to be in his loving arms once again.. I can't wait to have him home. Although I am dreading the day I have to say goodbye once again, I'm trying to keep that in the very, very back of my mind. We have limited time together, and I don't want to even think about the next deployment. Ugh, I'm not even going to talk about it anymore. I can't wait to have my love home again.. I miss making him breakfast, lunch, and making dinner together. I miss our movie nights, I miss cuddling for hours.. I love hanging out in the hot tub, I love our talks, and I love sleeping next to him. I am so excited to have my sweet husband home.. I feel so incredibly blessed to have him.

I love you, Tyler.

Friendship

I made a new friend, and let me tell you..

She's supportive
She makes me cry from laughing so hard
She checks up on me
She makes me food
She makes me coffee.. All day
She wants Youtube videos over and over again with me
She doesn't mind my gas
She cares about me
She listens to me
She's honest with me
She's trustworthy
She's kind
She respects me
She motivates me
She is HILARIOUS
She gives me great advice
She's smart
She's generous
She's humble
She's sweet
She is an amazing mother
And she is going to be a part of my life for a very, very long time.




Alexa McConnell, I am so blessed to know you.
"Aint nothin' but a thang!"

Getting through it.

I'm missing my husband like crazy right now.. I do all the time, but now more than ever. We're getting closer to homecoming but each day feels like a week sometimes. I feel so strong. I feel stronger than ever.. I feel that nothing can tear us apart, we are unstoppable. Our love is unbreakable.. There is nothing we can't get through. Every phone call we share is so exciting and fun.. It helps so much to hear his voice and to know he's doing well.

I've been having the worst anxiety lately and I am trying so hard to get it under control. It's so selfish of me to be freaking out like this.. When my husband isn't gone for that long, and he's not in any danger. I don't know why it hit me so hard, I just love him. I don't feel sorry for myself, I just want to stop having anxiety attacks so badly. It's not healthy.. I don't feel strong when I have them. I feel like a failure. I've been working on my breathing and that's been helping a lot, but there's still a whole in my heart that only my husband can fix. I can't wait to see him.. It feels like he's been gone forever. I can't wait to go home together and see our families.. We miss them so much. I can't wait to see baby J.. I hope he still remembers me :) And the twins, and Mady. I miss my babies.

I am so thankful for the girlfriends I have down here.. You guys are the best and are making this deployment a whole lot easier!

Thoughts..

About a week or so ago I posted a status about my bitterness towards how much is said about celebrities in the media, but not enough about true heroes or something along those lines.. I came off very arrogant and said that I shook my head every time I heard some celebrity be referred to as a hero. I didn't mean that entirely.. It makes me sick when celebrities receive a flag at half mast after they die, and not enough military members do after they lose their lives for this country. I believe that some celebrities are in fact heroes, and a ton of every day people are as well. I was just being bitter about not seeing enough about those risking their lives for millions and millions of people.. But our country couldn't handle it if they really knew how many people died every day for this country. Anyway, I just wanted to clear that up because I felt bad about it. Every one has a different view on the word "hero". And I didn't mean to come off as if ONLY people in the military are heroes. Not true at all.