Later on

Wow, that last post took me a couple of hours to write! It's so crazy looking back at the first few months we spent together.. I need to continue!

Tyler and I did everything together.. We have so many memories, I wish I could re live them all :) I will never forget everytime I picked him up at the airport.. the giddy feeling I'd get whenever I saw him walking towards me. I could always see him in a huge crowd of people.. I could pick him out from a mile away just by his walk. He always gave me the biggest hugs.. I love him so much.

Tyler and I dated for a while before we had our first break up. Him and I started our relationship long distance... It was stressful and hard on our relationship. I was very young, and I didn't make the best choices. I lost myself up until he came back from Afghanistan.

Although I was very much in love with Tyler, I made a lot of mistakes that led me to where I am today. I  needed to find myself and figure out my morals and values that I was lacking. If I could go back in time and change my ways sooner, I would to prevent the hurt I would cause Tyler.. I was young, I was in highschool.. I had been getting treated like shit for the last three years then all of the sudden getting treated like a princess. I took that for granted.. I took Tyler for granted. I didn't show him the respect he more than deserved.. I didn't show him love. I honestly don't know how I got this ring on my finger. If I were him, I would have said goodbye a long time ago. But man am I glad I got another chance.. let me back up a little.

Tyler and I had broken up for a while, I had dated other people, and we had gotten back together on his pre deployment leave. It all happened very fast.. Bam, he was gone. He was in Afghanistan for seven months and during those months, I made a complete fool out of myself. I was not a good girlfriend to Tyler. I wasn't a good person in general.. I wasn't the strong, faithful, loving, caring, and selfless person I should have been. I'm not going to go into detail about everything that happened, but let's just say I made some mistakes. Mistakes that will stick with me forever, mistakes that I'm still trying to let go of. Mistakes that haunt me everyday and no matter how hard I pray about it, it will always stick with me. I lied about a lot of things in the beginning.. when Tyler came home, and when I saw him at homecoming, my love for him changed completely. I took him for granted. I took our love for granted.. I took our relationship for granted..

The person I was back then, is not the person I am today. I have changed in every single way. I am still the same silly Alli, but with faith, strength, morals, values, and GOD. I'm not an attention seeking whore anymore.. All I want is to be with one man and one man only and that man is now my husband. God only knows why Tyler forgave me for the things I did to him.. But I thank him for that constantly. I was blessed with forgivness and happiness. I will never ever know why.. But I do know one thing, I will NEVER take what I have for granted ever again. I guess the only way I can explain why I did the things I did while we were dating is because I needed attention..

It's not hard to be faithful. It's not hard to be a good person. It's not hard to be a good girlfriend.
I made the wrong choices.
Being a good person isn't a challenge. It's easy when you have the Lord in your life. It's easy when you simply have a good heart.
And that is what I have now.

I am not that person anymore, no matter what anyone says.

The important thing is.. I have changed. I came clean about every mistake I have made in my past, and Tyler forgave me. He gave me another chance and I proved my love to him. I am finally the person I want to be, but there's always room for improvement. I strive to be the best wife in the world for Tyler.. And I will do anything for him.

I began to appreciate him. I began to be more grateful for him.. I actually took the time to not be so damn selfish and get to know him on a completely different level. I gained his trust back and that means the world to me.. I will never do anything to jeopardize that trust ever again.

Honestly, Tyler and I wouldn't be the couple that we are today if it weren't for every single thing that happened in our lives.. We both needed to learn, grow, and find ourselves.. I have learned enough lessons in the last four years that most people never learn. I am grateful for that. I am grateful that I became the wife that I am today. I am so incredibly thankful to be with Tyler.. He is the most amazing man in the world. He is my best friend, the love of my life, and everything I could ever want in a husband. I am so blessed to have him a part of my life especially after everything that has happened.. I honestly don't think we would be here today, this happy we are today, if it weren't for every mistake.

My advice to you? Find yourself first. Never get involved with a man in the military until you're ready to take on what is required. You have to be strong.. and that's exactly what I was lacking. Strength along with morals and values. If you aren't mature enough to handle being with a man in the military, DON'T. Grow up FIRST.. Not after you realize it all.

I thank the Lord every day and night for blessing me with this man.. and I thank Him for being so incredibly merciful. I hope I can forgive myself the way He and Tyler have forgiven me. Maybe one day I will.. But for now, I feel I need to still beat myself up a little.

THIS.. Is the moment I realized that this was the man I wanted to be with until the day I die.
THIS.. Is the moment I realized I took it all for granted.